There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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