It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
