found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
