how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
