He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
