I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
