just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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