Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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