Having a random hookup so left but love u
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
