He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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