I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
