I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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