i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
