I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My ass is underappreciated
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
