I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
