I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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