we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
