But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
