I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
