I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
nutella sex= disaster
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
