Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
