Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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