lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was CRYING into my vagina
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
