He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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