She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
