hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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