Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
