Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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