i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
