Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
