i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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