Duck Duck Cougar?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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