We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
