As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
