I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
