I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
