So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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