I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
