You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
