SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
