I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
