i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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