Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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