She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
