Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
