there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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