I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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