my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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