I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
