Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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