when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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